Death Reminds Us to Live...

Sometimes it's hard to write about my experience. I've gotten so many emails from people thanking me for this blog; it's been very touching, and I really appreciate knowing that it's so meaningful to you. I have so many stories to share of experiences I have witnessed acting as a medium for others -- stories that are heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. I feel so fortunate to be a witness to those moments in people's lives; moments that are filled with gratitude and sadness all swirled together. I've had about a billion of those moments on my own journey, and when I think about sharing them, I never know where to start. However, when I think about sharing them I also have a most magical experience of what I call; "being remembered".

Since the very beginning of Spencer being on the other side, there have been many moments when I witness him "remembering me" into a memory. I have to tell you that one minute ago I didn't know I would be sharing this, and this is exactly what I'm talking about.

There have been countless moments when I have been sitting somewhere, or walking alone, or lying in my bed, and all of the sudden out of what seems like nowhere, I'm pulled deep into a memory with Spencer. I'm remembering a moment we had together somewhere along the timeline of our lives together. What I realized early on when this began to happen is that, it's like he is reminding me of those moments, and that is what I refer to as him "remembering me". He is remembering me; reconnecting and reuniting me to my memories.

This happens for all of us, I am sure of it. We think that we're remembering something, but we are actually being taken into the memory intentionally by our loved one. I am absolutely sure of this. In those moments there is no death, there is only life; only love, as grief is a form of love, and an expression of gratitude -- sort of inside out and sometimes indiscernible as such. Then there are the moments when those we love who are beyond their bodies do something through us; either through an action or through something that is said. Something that is unmistakably them.

When Spencer departed, he had a lovely girlfriend, who was and is very dear to me. She was so devastated when he died that she had to go away, and she just disappeared. It was more than a year later when she resurfaced by way of a phone call. Shortly after that call, I went to visit her in northern California. Just minutes after we were together, we were standing in her kitchen talking and making tea, and a lightbulb literally blew up. We laughed, knowing that it was Spencer letting us know that he was there with us. We decided to go for a walk in the forest near her home. As we were walking along talking about him, I began to do something that at first seemed a bit odd. I reached over and put my hand under her long, dark hair at the back of her neck, and I began to move my fingers in a feathering-like motion up under her hair, on her neck. She turned her face toward me, her eyes filled with tears and said, "Spencer used to do that all the time".

It was a bittersweet moment; one of joy, because he was there with us, and one of sorrow, because he was not. Spencer wanted her to feel his love for her, and he wanted her to know that he was there, so he used me to do that.

I have had so many similar experiences since he died.

I share this because I believe that sharing those precious moments unites us, and comforts us, and helps us to realize that there is no end to the love that we have for one another; love just takes on different forms from time to time, and so do our relationships.

Bittersweet Love

I just thought of an experience that I had a few years ago when I was in New York seeing clients, and I want to share it with you. 

I had seen two individuals earlier that morning, and I was about to take a little break before I would see two women who were coming together for a session. 

Someone in NJ schedules appointments for me, and she didn't know who these ladies were or where they came from, which was unusual. So, I had no idea why they were coming to see me, which is really the way I like it to be.

I went into the kitchen to have an apple and some tea, and as I was standing there cutting my apple, I felt the presence of a young man come close to me. He felt like he was about eighteen years old. Very sweet boy. He had a big dog with him. I didn't inquire -- I just stayed aware of his presence, and noticed what I was feeling.

There was a knock on the door. My two ladies were twenty minutes early, so I showed them into the living room and told them I would be there in a few minutes. I ate my apple and drank my tea, and did whatever else I needed to do before I was ready to do the session with them, and then, about ten minutes later I went into the room to join them. 

I asked them if they had come to connect with a young man who was around eighteen years old. One woman began to cry - the young man was her son, the other woman was her sister. I told them they he was there with us and that he was with a big dog. I also mentioned that he seemed to be making a big deal about being with the dog, and that I wasn't quite sure why that was. He was teasing his mom a little bit about the dog. "He always wanted a dog, and I would never let him have one", she said. That was a bittersweet moment for her. 

He got his dog when he went to the other side and he for sure wanted her to know that. 

For me it was a beautiful way of him letting her know that he was okay being there. 

"He also wanted you to know that the accident was an accident".  I of course had no idea what I was talking about, which is very often the case. The young man's energy suddenly became very serious as he began to show me pictures of him driving fast down a pitch dark road, and then a bright, blinding light coming into his eyes, and then his car crashing into a tree off the side of the road. He said that the accident was completely his fault.

They explained to me that he died in that car accident and that there was some question about how that actually happened because his friend's car was involved as well, and his friend was feeling responsible for the son's death. Her son assured his mom that it was not his friend's fault, and he asked her to please convey that to him, because he was suffering and having a very hard time. Mom promised that she would call his friend to tell him what had been shared with her. At this moment, there was a feeling of relief that filled the air; it was like the whole room sighed.

A lot of communication happened in that session. It was very healing for his mom and his aunt, and it answered their questions about the accident. By the end of our time together, the tears turned to laughter and sweet memories that they shared, and there was a feeling of peace and love that filled all of our hearts.

Death - It Has Its Way With Us

Why Did You Leave Me?

Several years ago, I was asked by a colleague, who I am going to call Marco, to join him in a feng shui job that he was doing that was quite extensive. It sounded like fun, so I agreed. We got together one afternoon, prior to the day we were going to go to the house. We were sitting in my living room talking, and the room began to feel different, like there were other people in the room with us.I  knew nothing about Marco’s background. I only knew that he was from Mexico. After a few minutes of being distracted by the presence in the room, I asked him if his father had died. Marco was young enough that his father could still easily be alive. He told me his father had indeed, passed on.

Before I knew it, there was a very serious dialogue happening between Marco and his father, and through me. His father had tremendous regret, and Marco was very angry. It was like being in a full-on family therapy session with the two of them. Anger revealed hurt, and then things started to really open up. It was so intense you could feel the electricity in the air. Suddenly, there was someone else present on the other side with Marco's dad. I saw a baseball and a blue and white bicycle. And I saw a young man about sixteen years old. It was Marco’s brother, who had died when Marco was twelve.

Such sadness filled the air as Marco wept. All of this was very intense. Marco’s father was so sorry that he had been so abusive with Marco and his brother. He was truly  filled with regret, and hope; the hope, but not expectation that Marco could find it in his heart to forgive him. 

As that was taking place between the two of them, Juan had made his appearance. Marco cried out to Juan, “Why did you leave me?”  The reply, which I did not expect, and had never, heard before was so bittersweet; “It’s not why I left you, it’s why I came in the first place. I came to be with you. I never left you Marco”.

It was like the Earth stood still in that moment. Marco wept his heart out. I had tears running down my face. Never, in all the readings that I have done as a medium, did I ever hear anyone say that, and it made total sense to me. The love that those words were delivered on was so great, it broke my heart wide open. And the healing that took place for Marco was undeniable and unmistakable, not to mention -- amazing. That entire conversation lasted two full hours. 

The next day when I did go to the feng shui job to work with Marco, I realized that, I was not there for that reason, and that the reason he had thought to call me in was a trick from the other side, so that his dad and his brother could have the conversation they had, and so the amazing healing that took place could happen. 

 

Life After Death - A Story of Love

In some cultures, it's a given that there is life after death. In the American culture, death has been overlooked, made "hush-hush", considered to be a bad thing. Ignorance is bliss perhaps, but life is just as much a mystery, if not more so, than death. The question, "Is there life after death?" was never a question for me, and once someone connects with someone from the other side, if it was a question prior to that moment, it ceases to be.

When I first began working after Spencer had died, one of my new clients came to me for healing work. He was lying on the table, and I was holding his head in my hands. I felt so much sadness in his heart, and just as I was about to ask him about that, I felt a woman standing next to me. She was about 5'9", blonde hair to her shoulders, thin, and had a very wry sense of humor. She was so present, and her personality was unmistakable. I described this woman to him and he literally burst into tears. "That's my Barbara, he said. She died last July."

Barbara began to share things about their life, showed me their house, etc., so that he would know it was her that was there, if he had any doubt. She then told him that she was fine, and she told him who she was with, and she shared with him things that she had attended with him from the other side. He was so comforted. They had been together since they were in their early twenties, and he was in his late sixties, so for him, it was a huge loss. A year later, I had the great honor of being with this man as he left his body to go join his Barbara. While he laid there in the bed, letting go of all the responsibilities that he thought he still had to take care of for other people,  Barbara stood right next to him. The doctors said that he had about six months left. I guess he decided to take an earlier flight, because he looked at me and smiled, and said, "Barbara is here", then closed his eyes and left his body. 

When someone we love dies...

When our people go to the other side, when they drop their body and become that beautiful essence of what we truly are made of, they have not left us, they have merely changed form, and so has our relationship with them. As we learn to have our new relationship, we find peace of mind. However, it’s not always an easy journey, and sharing with others can really help us feel that we’re not alone.

When my Spencer was seven years old, his grandma died while he was at school. When he came home that day, I took him to a quiet spot and I told him what had happened. He was very close to her. He stood there for a very long minute, his beautiful big green eyes looking off into the distance, and then he looked at right into my eyes and said, “Mom. Grandma is still here. There is nowhere to go. When people die, it’s like they have gone into the other room. We can’t see them or hear them, but they are still here, because there’s no where to go.” You can imagine how grateful I am that he said that to me, because twenty-two years later, he was killed in a car accident.

I welcome your comments and questions, and if you have had a reading with me, please feel free to share your story of how you connected with your loved ones on the other side. For me, after Spencer left, these stories brought me comfort, and mediumship was the only thing that I sought.

 

 The Death of a Child

After Spencer died, people would say things like, “Oh, he’s in a better place now.” Or “Don’t worry, he’ll be waiting there when you get there.” Or “He’s gone home to heaven”. Our friends and family mean well, but if they haven't had the experience, they don't know. And, in our culture, death has very much been kept in silence, because we fear what we don't understand.

When you are a parent, you want to know two things, first, where is my child, and then, is he or she okay. That’s it – it’s very simple. You don’t want to hear that he or she is in a better place, or that he has gone home, or that she is in Heaven. That’s not the deal. That’s not what you signed up for. Suddenly, you find yourself a member of a club that you don’t remember joining, but life has enrolled you, and there’s no way to negotiate your membership.

After Spencer died, I went to a compassionate friends meeting. There I was in a room full of people who had all lost children. There were probably 30-40 people in the room, sitting in metal folding chairs, in a large circle. It was an activity room at a local church. The couple running the group was young, and they had lost their baby four years prior. They still could not look at a picture of her, and they hadn’t changed her room. Here I was, two months after my son died, he was 29, at this meeting for the first time, and I brought a picture of him with me to show everyone.

After the evening was over, an older couple who had lost there son ten years before, and were there to support those of us who were newbie’s to the club, called me over to them. The woman looked at me and said, “You’re in shock my dear. And when you come out, you must remember one thing; you will either get better or you will become bitter, and that is a choice that you will make”.  Her words of wisdom, saved me many a time, because when I started to come out of shock, I was a total mess, a complete nightmare, and so was my new life.

Many of us use religion or our spiritual beliefs to avoid the real devastation of death; we use them as a crutch rather than for support. There is a great difference. My spiritual beliefs were great. I’d been meditating for twenty-five years when my son died. I’d been a spiritual advisor and counselor for as many years, and on occasion, a medium for those on the other side who wanted to speak to someone that was still in body.

About four months after Spencer died, one of my clients, Mary France – a lovely, and very strong French woman, called me. She instructed me that I had to get back to work immediately, that I had taken enough time off, and that if I didn’t get back to work, she was going to die. I agreed to see her, and certainly she was nowhere near death, but just trying to get me back into my life. I started seeing clients again, a few each week to begin. What was so odd was that suddenly, and I can’t remember from where, I had perhaps twenty new clients all at once, and when they came for their sessions, each one of them was accompanied by someone from the other side. I saw how I was being used, and when I wasn't working, I was trapped in a nightmare of a new reality that I couldn't grasp with my mind. Life had become erie and strange; even the familiar was unfamiliar and everything was surreal. I felt like I had been buried alive.

While reading this, if you remembered an experience you have had with someone on the other side, please click on "comments" and share your story with us. Believe me, these stories are what keep people going, and that is why I created this blog. I will post stories every day from my own experience and from the readings I have done with others, and what happened for them; some  of them are funny, all of them are heart wrenching, and each one keeps all of our loved ones alive in our lives here in this plane of existence - because remember what Spencer said, "There's no where to go".