When someone we love dies...

When our people go to the other side, when they drop their body and become that beautiful essence of what we truly are made of, they have not left us, they have merely changed form, and so has our relationship with them. As we learn to have our new relationship, we find peace of mind. However, it’s not always an easy journey, and sharing with others can really help us feel that we’re not alone.

When my Spencer was seven years old, his grandma died while he was at school. When he came home that day, I took him to a quiet spot and I told him what had happened. He was very close to her. He stood there for a very long minute, his beautiful big green eyes looking off into the distance, and then he looked at right into my eyes and said, “Mom. Grandma is still here. There is nowhere to go. When people die, it’s like they have gone into the other room. We can’t see them or hear them, but they are still here, because there’s no where to go.” You can imagine how grateful I am that he said that to me, because twenty-two years later, he was killed in a car accident.

I welcome your comments and questions, and if you have had a reading with me, please feel free to share your story of how you connected with your loved ones on the other side. For me, after Spencer left, these stories brought me comfort, and mediumship was the only thing that I sought.

 

 The Death of a Child

After Spencer died, people would say things like, “Oh, he’s in a better place now.” Or “Don’t worry, he’ll be waiting there when you get there.” Or “He’s gone home to heaven”. Our friends and family mean well, but if they haven't had the experience, they don't know. And, in our culture, death has very much been kept in silence, because we fear what we don't understand.

When you are a parent, you want to know two things, first, where is my child, and then, is he or she okay. That’s it – it’s very simple. You don’t want to hear that he or she is in a better place, or that he has gone home, or that she is in Heaven. That’s not the deal. That’s not what you signed up for. Suddenly, you find yourself a member of a club that you don’t remember joining, but life has enrolled you, and there’s no way to negotiate your membership.

After Spencer died, I went to a compassionate friends meeting. There I was in a room full of people who had all lost children. There were probably 30-40 people in the room, sitting in metal folding chairs, in a large circle. It was an activity room at a local church. The couple running the group was young, and they had lost their baby four years prior. They still could not look at a picture of her, and they hadn’t changed her room. Here I was, two months after my son died, he was 29, at this meeting for the first time, and I brought a picture of him with me to show everyone.

After the evening was over, an older couple who had lost there son ten years before, and were there to support those of us who were newbie’s to the club, called me over to them. The woman looked at me and said, “You’re in shock my dear. And when you come out, you must remember one thing; you will either get better or you will become bitter, and that is a choice that you will make”.  Her words of wisdom, saved me many a time, because when I started to come out of shock, I was a total mess, a complete nightmare, and so was my new life.

Many of us use religion or our spiritual beliefs to avoid the real devastation of death; we use them as a crutch rather than for support. There is a great difference. My spiritual beliefs were great. I’d been meditating for twenty-five years when my son died. I’d been a spiritual advisor and counselor for as many years, and on occasion, a medium for those on the other side who wanted to speak to someone that was still in body.

About four months after Spencer died, one of my clients, Mary France – a lovely, and very strong French woman, called me. She instructed me that I had to get back to work immediately, that I had taken enough time off, and that if I didn’t get back to work, she was going to die. I agreed to see her, and certainly she was nowhere near death, but just trying to get me back into my life. I started seeing clients again, a few each week to begin. What was so odd was that suddenly, and I can’t remember from where, I had perhaps twenty new clients all at once, and when they came for their sessions, each one of them was accompanied by someone from the other side. I saw how I was being used, and when I wasn't working, I was trapped in a nightmare of a new reality that I couldn't grasp with my mind. Life had become erie and strange; even the familiar was unfamiliar and everything was surreal. I felt like I had been buried alive.

While reading this, if you remembered an experience you have had with someone on the other side, please click on "comments" and share your story with us. Believe me, these stories are what keep people going, and that is why I created this blog. I will post stories every day from my own experience and from the readings I have done with others, and what happened for them; some  of them are funny, all of them are heart wrenching, and each one keeps all of our loved ones alive in our lives here in this plane of existence - because remember what Spencer said, "There's no where to go".